Jamie Wahls – Be Yourself, Respect Yourself, and Do What You Can



Jamie Wahls - Be Yourself, Respect Yourself, and Do What You Can
Jamie Wahls – Be Yourself

Finding time to savor some quiet as the old year ends and new one is about to begin is a wonderful gift to give yourself.
Yesterday afternoon, as the waning sun’s light burnished the winter treetops golden outside my window, I was doing just that. Enjoying the twilight moment, I started clearing up some files on the bookshelf behind my desk and came upon three quotations that I’d saved to use one day.

“What better day than now!” I thought… so here they are:

Be World Health Organization you’re and say what you are feeling, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Seuss
Self-respect is that the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the power to mention no to oneself. Abraham Joshua Heschel
I am solely one; however still i’m one. I cannot do everything, but I still can do something. I will not refuse to try to to the one thing I will do. Helen Keller

What an expensive smorgasbord of knowledge to think about and carry into a brand new year – or a brand new day, for that matter! And I was interested to note that each insight relates to boundaries. Boundaries are one of my very favorite time management subjects.
But, what do these quotes have to do with boundaries?
Well, what I would say is that the more comfortable you are with your boundaries, the more at ease and confident you’re going to be with sharing yourself, your ideas, and your feelings with other people. That’s because when you have good, strong boundaries, you know that you are okay, no matter what.
So, when your boundaries are strong and clear, you know, right in your bones, that another person’s feeling or opinion about you is theirs and really says nothing about you. Secure in yourself, you can share authentically and allow others the space to share in the same way.
Not only that, but what you say yes to and what you say no to determines how you spend your time. And these no’s and yes’s are boundaries. Saying no to 1 issue allows you to a lot of totally concentrate on another. This is a boundary-setting skill that is foundational to your time success.
Finally, boundaries tell you where you end and the other person begins. You are one, and only one. Knowing this helps you empower yourself to do what you can do, no matter what.
It’s a misconception to think of boundaries as barriers. In reality, knowing yourself and your boundaries frees you to focus productively in the time that you have, and to relate much more openly… it’s the heart-based way!

Jamie Wahls is a writer, programmer, pianist, suicide counselor, voice actor, massage therapist, mime, model, ex-millionaire, Krav Magi, scuba diver, game developer, neuroscience enthusiast, dance instructor, vegetarian, and very cautious driver.Jamie Wahls was raised by wolves. Literal, literal wolves. He works at the Machine Intelligence Research Institute, a nonprofit that does basic research on the question of how to make superintelligent machines safe and useful.



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Jamie Wahls – Killer Insights That Will Make You A Better Negotiator

There are factors that determine the degree of success you’ll have in a #negotiation. Those factors are what will also make you a good #negotiator or one that’s significantly better. The following are a few of those #killer #insights and how to use them to your advantage in a negotiation. Using them will ensure that you have a #better negotiation outcome.

Negotiation Environment:

Where you negotiate can have hidden advantages for the person controlling that environment. But there are also ways to control an environment that you’re not in control of.

Your environment – When you control the environment, you can control the temperature, lighting, and other creature features that would make one more comfortable while negotiating. If the negotiation becomes tense, you can increase or lower the temperature in the environment to coincide with the adjustments you want the other negotiator to make (e.g. he gets heated, you turn the room temperature up or down to make him hotter or colder).
Not your environment – When you don’t have control of the environment, if things become intense, you can offer to change venues. If it’s accepted, you will gain the advantage of not being in the environment that the other negotiator controlled. Plus, he will have allowed you to take the lead simply by his acquiesces.

Negotiation Positioning:

The way you position yourself before a negotiation determines how someone perceives you – it will also play an important role in the way you’re treated. If you position yourself as a tough guy, a tough guy negotiator type may treat you harshly – that’s his form of protecting against you perceiving him as being weak. If you position yourself as being weak, the tough guy may attempt to take advantage of you, while the weak type of negotiator may become emboldened to become more aggressive.

For the best positioning, consider the negotiation style (e.g. hard, soft, meek, bully) that your opponent may use – and assess which negotiation style you should adopt to offset any advantages he might gain from negotiating in that manner.

Negotiation Strategies:

Control – You command a negotiation by the degree of control you exercise. When appropriate, you can give the impression that you’re led by the other negotiator – you might wish to do that to gain insights into where he’ll take you with his control. You might also do it to put him at ease – less powerful negotiators become fearful when they sense they’re up against a more knowledgeable negotiator – letting him lead will allay his fears of being dominated by you.

Offers – Some negotiators will insist on getting a concession for everyone they make. You don’t have to do that. Depending on the negotiator type you’re negotiating with, consider saving the chits you gain from making concessions and using them in a combined force (e.g. I’ve given you this and that and I’ve not asked for anything. Will you please give me this?) – Accumulating concessions in this manner and calling in the chits earned from them can become a very strong persuader for the other negotiator to make concessions. Just be sure not to grant too many of them before making your request. The more concessions you make without getting a return, the more likely it becomes that they will lose their full value.

No matter the type of negotiation you’re going to be in or find yourself in, using the above insights will improve your negotiation abilities. And, it will improve your negotiation outcomes. So, always be mindful of how and when you use them… and everything will be right with the world.

Jamie Wahls is a writer, programmer, pianist, suicide counselor, voice actor, massage therapist, mime, model, ex-millionaire, Krav Magi, scuba diver, game developer, neuroscience enthusiast, dance instructor, vegetarian, and very cautious driver.Jamie Wahls was raised by wolves. Literal, literal wolves. He works at the Machine Intelligence Research Institute, a nonprofit that does basic research on the question of how to make superintelligent machines safe and useful.