Jamie Wahls – Be Yourself, Respect Yourself, and Do What You Can



Jamie Wahls - Be Yourself, Respect Yourself, and Do What You Can
Jamie Wahls – Be Yourself

Finding time to savor some quiet as the old year ends and new one is about to begin is a wonderful gift to give yourself.
Yesterday afternoon, as the waning sun’s light burnished the winter treetops golden outside my window, I was doing just that. Enjoying the twilight moment, I started clearing up some files on the bookshelf behind my desk and came upon three quotations that I’d saved to use one day.

“What better day than now!” I thought… so here they are:

Be World Health Organization you’re and say what you are feeling, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Seuss
Self-respect is that the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the power to mention no to oneself. Abraham Joshua Heschel
I am solely one; however still i’m one. I cannot do everything, but I still can do something. I will not refuse to try to to the one thing I will do. Helen Keller

What an expensive smorgasbord of knowledge to think about and carry into a brand new year – or a brand new day, for that matter! And I was interested to note that each insight relates to boundaries. Boundaries are one of my very favorite time management subjects.
But, what do these quotes have to do with boundaries?
Well, what I would say is that the more comfortable you are with your boundaries, the more at ease and confident you’re going to be with sharing yourself, your ideas, and your feelings with other people. That’s because when you have good, strong boundaries, you know that you are okay, no matter what.
So, when your boundaries are strong and clear, you know, right in your bones, that another person’s feeling or opinion about you is theirs and really says nothing about you. Secure in yourself, you can share authentically and allow others the space to share in the same way.
Not only that, but what you say yes to and what you say no to determines how you spend your time. And these no’s and yes’s are boundaries. Saying no to 1 issue allows you to a lot of totally concentrate on another. This is a boundary-setting skill that is foundational to your time success.
Finally, boundaries tell you where you end and the other person begins. You are one, and only one. Knowing this helps you empower yourself to do what you can do, no matter what.
It’s a misconception to think of boundaries as barriers. In reality, knowing yourself and your boundaries frees you to focus productively in the time that you have, and to relate much more openly… it’s the heart-based way!

Jamie Wahls is a writer, programmer, pianist, suicide counselor, voice actor, massage therapist, mime, model, ex-millionaire, Krav Magi, scuba diver, game developer, neuroscience enthusiast, dance instructor, vegetarian, and very cautious driver.Jamie Wahls was raised by wolves. Literal, literal wolves. He works at the Machine Intelligence Research Institute, a nonprofit that does basic research on the question of how to make superintelligent machines safe and useful.



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Jamie Wahls – Killer Insights That Will Make You A Better Negotiator

There are factors that determine the degree of success you’ll have in a #negotiation. Those factors are what will also make you a good #negotiator or one that’s significantly better. The following are a few of those #killer #insights and how to use them to your advantage in a negotiation. Using them will ensure that you have a #better negotiation outcome.

Negotiation Environment:

Where you negotiate can have hidden advantages for the person controlling that environment. But there are also ways to control an environment that you’re not in control of.

Your environment – When you control the environment, you can control the temperature, lighting, and other creature features that would make one more comfortable while negotiating. If the negotiation becomes tense, you can increase or lower the temperature in the environment to coincide with the adjustments you want the other negotiator to make (e.g. he gets heated, you turn the room temperature up or down to make him hotter or colder).
Not your environment – When you don’t have control of the environment, if things become intense, you can offer to change venues. If it’s accepted, you will gain the advantage of not being in the environment that the other negotiator controlled. Plus, he will have allowed you to take the lead simply by his acquiesces.

Negotiation Positioning:

The way you position yourself before a negotiation determines how someone perceives you – it will also play an important role in the way you’re treated. If you position yourself as a tough guy, a tough guy negotiator type may treat you harshly – that’s his form of protecting against you perceiving him as being weak. If you position yourself as being weak, the tough guy may attempt to take advantage of you, while the weak type of negotiator may become emboldened to become more aggressive.

For the best positioning, consider the negotiation style (e.g. hard, soft, meek, bully) that your opponent may use – and assess which negotiation style you should adopt to offset any advantages he might gain from negotiating in that manner.

Negotiation Strategies:

Control – You command a negotiation by the degree of control you exercise. When appropriate, you can give the impression that you’re led by the other negotiator – you might wish to do that to gain insights into where he’ll take you with his control. You might also do it to put him at ease – less powerful negotiators become fearful when they sense they’re up against a more knowledgeable negotiator – letting him lead will allay his fears of being dominated by you.

Offers – Some negotiators will insist on getting a concession for everyone they make. You don’t have to do that. Depending on the negotiator type you’re negotiating with, consider saving the chits you gain from making concessions and using them in a combined force (e.g. I’ve given you this and that and I’ve not asked for anything. Will you please give me this?) – Accumulating concessions in this manner and calling in the chits earned from them can become a very strong persuader for the other negotiator to make concessions. Just be sure not to grant too many of them before making your request. The more concessions you make without getting a return, the more likely it becomes that they will lose their full value.

No matter the type of negotiation you’re going to be in or find yourself in, using the above insights will improve your negotiation abilities. And, it will improve your negotiation outcomes. So, always be mindful of how and when you use them… and everything will be right with the world.

Jamie Wahls is a writer, programmer, pianist, suicide counselor, voice actor, massage therapist, mime, model, ex-millionaire, Krav Magi, scuba diver, game developer, neuroscience enthusiast, dance instructor, vegetarian, and very cautious driver.Jamie Wahls was raised by wolves. Literal, literal wolves. He works at the Machine Intelligence Research Institute, a nonprofit that does basic research on the question of how to make superintelligent machines safe and useful.

A Love Letter – JAMIE WAHLS

From My Heart to Your Heart,
May we recognize the Divine Love’s presence.
May we see each other as One.
My Dear One,
Is there someone in your life, a friend or relative, whom you find it difficult to love?
Perhaps this person was unkind to you, even bullied or abused you in the past.
When you consider this person, love isn’t what you’re feeling. You may feel anger, rage, even hatred. You may produce other sturdy uncomfortable feelings that return up furthermore.
What is holding you stuck in these previous feelings?
How are you able to unleash them and enter an area of love?
After all, when you feel these feelings, the other person isn’t feeling them.
It’s YOU who are being held in the chains of old pains and old emotions.
One of my mother’s sisters died recently. Even though I’ve understand for years and years that she hurt American state deeply after I was a baby, i used to be not impelled to handle my feelings regarding her. Instead, I’ve just avoided her for decades.
Now, she’s in spirit and that i realize that I cannot keep in mind even one kind or generous factor that she did on behalf of me or anyone else. My heart is full of pain, not love.
This woman was a bully. I have clear memories of her bullying her husband. “Honey, drop dead!” she would say to this gentle soul.
She bullied her eldest son into believing he was stupid, even though he was of average intelligence. Can you imagine how this affected his life?
She cowed her girl into changing into a series smoker.
She bullied her two other sons until one of them moved 3,000 miles away just to feel free of her.
She bullied me, too, even though I wasn’t her own child.
Every time she visited us or we visited her family, she was horrible to me. I wont to hide in my bedchamber once she came to our home till my mother would drag American state intent on greet her and her family.
So currently she’s in spirit, and I struggle to find some way to forgive her so that I no longer am burdened by my feelings.
At first, my ego kicked in, and I became mean.
I began imagining her Life Review within the spirit realm.
“Well, well,” I said to her in spirit. “Finally you will finally learn how much you have hurt others. You will feel their pain yourself. Good. Long overdue!”
These thoughts carried no compassion at all.
Observing myself behaving this way, I was determined to make a change in how I felt. But what could I do?
When I realize I cannot feel love for somebody, I know that the problem is mine and that the limitation is inside me.
If I simply blame the opposite person, nothing will change.
If I own up to my feelings and enkindle higher steering to heal myself, to forgive myself for having this person in my life, I will eventually become free.
When I remember that I’m the one who must change, then I’m ready to step forward and make those changes.
I remembered that people who are bullies and abusers have been bullied and abused as children themselves.
They are IN PAIN!
Children Learn What They Live.
When children are bullied and abused, they often become bullies and abusers, especially as adults.
When children are bullied, they are small and they feel even smaller. They feel they have no power, and often that is the reality of their situation.
When they grow up and become physically bigger and stronger, they rationalize that it’s their turn to wield the power.
Some of them actually go into a trance state when they abuse others – the same trance state that they used in childhood to escape the abuse they were receiving.
Remembering these things and asking my I Am Presence to help me release my negative feelings about my aunt shifted me completely.
Within 24 hours, I could think about her and feel compassion. I could say to myself, “She must have been in terrible pain all her life to treat others so badly, especially the people she loved the most: her husband and children.”
I now feel free from my old resentments towards my aunt, and I wish her well.
When I am completely free of all my old, dense emotional patterns, I’ll be able to love everyone.
Some of the masters say that this is the greatest spiritual practice:
Love Everyone.
To “Love Everyone” I must find a way to love myself fully, without judgment or limitation, without guilt or remorse.
When I shifted my perspective, I became able to see this lesson as a gift from my departed aunt.
It allowed me to feel forgiveness and love for her.
So this is my Love Letter.
I’m sending this Love Letter to my aunt in spirit and to myself, here on Earth.
I’m also sending Love to you and everyone else still finding their way through the jungles of Third Dimensional Density.
There IS lightweight at the tip of the trail.
And most importantly,
there is Love all along the Way.

Jamie Wahls is a writer, programmer, pianist, suicide counselor,traveler and dedicated his own life for the purpose of Humanity.

Jamie Wahls – Goal Setting and a Morning Routine

Goal Setting And Morning Routine - Jamie Wahls

There is a definite correlation between achieving our Goals and our morning routine, and it should support our pursuit of our Goals. A morning routing is what you are doing within the morning from after you arise to after you leave for or begin work. The end point is up to you. A typical morning routine for an under-achiever might be something like this:

Alarm goes off. Fumble for the snooze button. Repeat 3 or 4 times. Or just turn it off entirely and doze off.
Eyes fly open. Reach for the alarm/phone in panic mode to envision what time it’s. “I overslept!”
Rush to the shower, get dressed in a hurry and hurry to the kitchen for coffee and maybe a quick bite.
Rush around looking for work bag, making sure it’s got everything. Can’t find shoes or car keys.
Pour the coffee into travel mug, grab bag and keys, say good-bye to family and rush to work. Get stuck in traffic.
Get to workplace late and be grouchy all day.

Any of that sound familiar? I know some of it does for me.

Jamie Wahls

A good morning routine begins the night before. It doesn’t take more than 10 minutes to pack your work bag, put your shoes and keys where you can find them and lay out the clothes you’ll wear in the morning. When you’re rushing, these things take at least twice as long because you’re focused on the fact that you’re running late. Next move your alarm to your dresser or somewhere you’ve got to urge out of bed to show it off. Leave your phone with your work bag if you’re not in a job that requires you to be on-call at night. Go to bed early. Give yourself 7 to 8 hours of time to sleep before the alarm goes off. Choose the number that works for you and keep on with it.
When the alarm goes off, you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Make sure it’s a loud, annoying alarm, not some soft chime you’ll sleep through. Do NOT go back to bed. Ideally, you exercise now. You can do 5 hard minutes to start. Get your heart rate up and hopefully work up a little sweat. Even if it’s stretching and jumping jacks, you can do something. Increase the exercise time till you are doing half-hour or additional. Yes, you do have the time. Start getting up a little earlier every day. Shower and dress for the day. Have breakfast at a leisurely pace, even if it’s just toast. When done, grab your work bag, keys and anything else you need and head to work 15 minutes earlier. If you work from home, you can get started 15 minutes earlier.
This sets you up for a fantastic day. Exercise within the morning will build all the distinction within the world for your day. You’re energized and you’ve already accomplished something. Your morning goes from a rush mess to associate degree orderly time of self-made actions and habit building. There’s a lot more you can do with your morning routine. Walk the neighborhood for instance. Spend five or ten minutes in prayer or contemplation. Write in your journal. Spend quarter-hour or additional on your aspect hustle. Any and all of these things sets the tone for the day. You’ve accomplished something or several somethings before you start your work day. You’re not grouchy and fixated on however badly the day started.
You’ve set yourself up to hit the ground running and work on your Goals.